Tiger Woods apology was only marginally successful. His personality is contained, so we didn’t expect him to suddenly become a motivational speaker. But reading copy is not the way to make a connection with your audience. Better to be less polished and more authentic then to get every word right. Even his delivery was mechanical. The short, punchy phrases were designed to make him clearly understood and so that he didn’t make a mistake.  This he accomplished. Showing contrition he did not.

Tiger also lost points by delivering used up and general phrases we’ve heard before. Go back to the speeches of John Edwards,  Mark Sanford or Eliot Spitzer. There was little specific about their apology or what they plan to do going forward. They all say how they let down their family, their country and their fans. Wake up! You’re not telling us anything new.

The only real emotion Tiger displayed was defending Elin. But for a study in emotion, pushed just under the surface, take a look at Tiger’s mother watching her son speak. I would have loved to hear what she was thinking. Now that would be memorable.

JD Salinger died January 27. Not only was his book Catcher in the Rye a seminal novel for the Baby Boomers, it resurfaces in succeeding generations because of its clear voice and understanding of the human condition. The tragedy is that Salinger never wrote another full length novel. Instead, he retreated to the New Hampshire woods and lived as a virtual hermit; a ghost. Rumors abound, but his albatross could have been bad reviews, which started coming in after he refused all inquiries for interviews. What a loss, because he was the first major American writer to surface after the generation of Faulkner and Hemingway.

Bad reviews come in many forms; our clients all have a story about when they were embarrassed in front of a class, an assembly, or in church as a young person and still carry the scars. Some confront the challenge and go on to be masterful communicators and speakers, while others retreat and avoid public speaking for the rest of their lives. It is imperative that we develop a metric for assessing our communication skills, and also a trust in our ability to make the assessment, without the influence of others. Fine-tuning listening/awareness skills while presenting takes time, but once you can feel the reaction of the audience in the moment and adjust as needed, you will never again carry the albatross of a bad review about your neck.

Eloqui conducts a half day seminar on networking skills for 1st Private Bank and Trust in Encino.

Deborah and David speak at the ProVisor Miracle Mile group in LA.

Eloqui returns for part #3 of the program, Communicating for Hard Dollars at Bickmore Risk Services in Sacramento, CA.

First, leave g-d in a place of worship–it doesn’t belong in an acceptance speech…

If you’re going to name the people who you owe a debt of gratitude to, add descriptive phrases of what they’ve meant to you or the specifics of what they’ve done. Select only a choice few, because there’s not enough time to include everyone. Jason Reitman (the Director of “Up in the Air”) was exemplary. He was open, not self conscious and touching, while brief.

We love Drew Barrymore, but she seemed too much like the role she played in Grey Gardens when she tossed out phrases like “I’m not good at this” and “I can do this” and “Monique, I want to be like you” and “Because of all the things going on in the world, I know it’s important.” What a wasted opportunity. Emotional but ineffective.

Please eliminate these phrases: “this is amazing” and “I’m not prepared”. The producer of Mad Men used both of these tired phrases but then redeemed himself by acknowledging that he (like Drew Barrymore) was in this ballroom many years ago for a Bar Mitzvah, which endeared him to the audience and allowed him to finish strong.

Why didn’t they create a path to the stage for acceptees? Everyone had a hard time finding their way onstage and it wasted time…

Know when you’re done and it’s time to exit. Meryl Streep had some terrific endings to her speech, but she kept going on which diminished her great lines like “I’ve played so many extraordinary women, that I’m now mistaken for one”. Or, “I want to change my name to T-Bone. T-Bone Streep.” Formulate one idea and stick with it. Then button it up with a strong close and make a gracious exit…

Don’t let your kids watch the Golden Globes unsupervised. They might catch the shot of Mickey Rourke giving Mike Tyson a kiss which could seriously damage them for life.

Helen Mirren stood and waited before delivering a dramatic opening about life. Using the power of the pause she drew the audience to her and owned the stage.

Reading the teleprompter caused undue problems. Presenters squinted to read their lines… Robert DeNiro only came alive when he joked about Martin Scorsese having sex on the Internet. The rest of the time, his prompter reading was embarrassing… Even Tom Hanks, the consummate professional sounded canned and rushed when he read the prompter.

Bad camera pans were distracting, but at least made us realize the show was live. The flip side was watching a retrospective of Martin Scorsese’s film clips. What a master artist, filmmaker and shaper of the Industry.

The most memorable speeeches included self-effacing humor, from Todd Phillips of The Hangover who thanked his mother for “supporting him becoming a director because he wasn’t as smart as his two sisters”… and Julianne Margulies who admitted “I’d bow down to Glenn Close, but my dress would rip” to “…fifteen years ago I was on the loo and missed my whole category” from Toni Collette, and the producer of Glee who said “this is for everyone who got a wedgie in high school”. Ricky Gervais’ included lots of humor, the best when referring to himeself and the nighttime standup drama: “Let’s get on with it before NBC replaces me with Jay Leno.”

Another class act was John Lithgow when he bounded up on stage and perfectly listed the names of everyone who worked with him on Showtime, Dexter and his close circle of influence. He was prepped, rehearsed and ready to go… His co-star, Michael C. Hall (battling cancer) eloquently acknowledged his cast and crew with how much it meant for him to “go to work in a place where everyone gives a damn.”

Chloe Sevigny had a great line about being cast as a polygamist in the series Big Love. “I remain eternally confused and grateful.”

Christoph Waltz (who won an award for his supporting role in Inglorious Basterds) started by saying “A year and a half ago I was exposed to the gravitational pull of Quentin Tarantino… ” and although the rest of the speech could have been delivered more effectively, you have to appreciate the creative crafting he applied to his two minutes of fame.

Loved Martin Scorsese’s tribute to the Hollywood Press Association for restoring old movies that meant so much to him, and paying tribute to past filmmakers, “walking in their footprints” or relating his own personal “powerful cinematic experiences” to the works of DeMille, Ford, Bergman or Kurosawa… And topping it off using a quote from Faulkner “The past is never dead. It’s not even past” is why he’s a master.

Sandra Bullock combined humor, specific references to everyone who made her movie Blind Side a success, and even included a bit of German in a gracious acceptance speech.

Loved Robert Downey’s speech, putting down everyone, not thanking everyone, and quoting William Faulkner with “art in the blood is liable to take the strangest form and now I’m one of them.” (referring to the Hollywood Foreign Press) He had a fun time and we all went along for the ride.

For a lifetime of work, Jeff Bridges received a standing ovation, then began his acceptance speech with “You’re really screwing up my under appreciated status”. His acknowledgment of everyone involved was heartfelt, specific, and memorable– even his stand-in. We don’t see Jeff enough! Hopefully that will now change.

Ricky Gervais is this year’s host. An exceptionally funny British comedian, his opening comments to the actors were spot on, especially when he riffed on Keifer Sutherland’s ad lib beatings or a little Asian girl seeing a picutre of Angelina Jolie and saying “momma”. But when Ricky turned the attention onto himself and told jokes about his penis, it sounded more like an HBO special than a family awards show. And contrasted with the elegant gowns, jewels and make-up, the adolescent jokes were out of place. However, Gervais is a pro and recovered with his sharp tongued banter.

The next Eloqui public workshop on differentiators, how to tell a compelling client anecdote and elevator speeches will be held on February 18th from 9-1:00 p.m. in Calabasas, CA. Attendance is limited to 8 professionals for maximum participation. $400.

Eloqui returns to work with RNC Genter on advanced client service skills.

Deborah and David deliver a talk on “discovering your communication strengths” to the Woodland Hills office of Wells Fargo Insurance.

At the newly formed Encino2 ProVisor group, Deborah and David will coach members on their elevator speeches.

Eloqui returns for part #2 of the program, Communicating for Hard Dollars conducted at Bickmore Risk Services in Sacramento, CA.

As we considered our clients, we compared their differing communication styles. In general, clients over 40 tend to study written materials in depth, make notes and adapt the research to their style. Their struggle is with habits that are deeply ingrained, and a tendency to speak from a rigid structure, which decreases spontaneity.

Younger clients tend to scan written materials and spend less time in critical analysis, resulting in presentations that sound light. On a positive note, they tend to make a quicker audience connection and convey a sense of immediacy. Clearly, their presentations are not canned.

We believe the two demographic groups can learn from one another–in depth study and analysis produces gravitas and trust, while immediacy and conversational style produces confidence and likeability.

Great American Group brings Eloqui back to train their national sales organization.

Eloqui begins “Communicating for Hard Dollars” training for Bickmore Risk Services in Sacramento.

Deborah and David work with the newest Arthritis Foundation spokesperson.

The Eloqui workshop on intention, reading your audience and how to close on Friday, January 22nd from 1-5:00 p.m. is now full. The workshop will be held at the Eloqui offices in Calabasas.

Eloqui will be conducting a 1/2 day seminar at Safer Systems based on their book “Own the Room”.

President Obama’s recent speech on the Ft. Hood tragedy was a masterful display of rhetoric, crafted to match the gravity and respect the occasion demanded. Sometimes labeled “cool” in his persona and understated in his delivery, the killing of 13 individuals necessitated Obama turn up the heat and connect with the friends and family of the victims. While demonstrating warmth and compassion, he also needed to employ reasoned certainty and conviction to the American people. As communication specialists, we wrote the book Own the Room to address this type of challenge, in politics and in business. An emotionally charged moment in the history of a nation asks of its leader to calm our fears and defuse the desire to exact retribution. Obama reached into his playbook, to find the words he hoped would salve our wounds and allow us to come together as a nation.

In terms of balance, the speech was a blend of emotion and intellect. Obama spoke of the terrible sacrifice of the thirteen soldiers, but also emphasized the respect for due process and assured our nation that justice will be appropriately delivered. He took the time to humanize each of the fallen soldiers, including specific visual details. He shared how one played the guitar, another was born in Thailand, and yet another was pregnant with her first child and excited about becoming a new mother. By delivering a snapshot of their lives and expressing their aspirations and hopes, he elevated them in stature which made their deaths even more tragic. This neither idealized nor reduced them, but made us appreciate how similar they are to each of us, and how deep their loss is to their families.

In Own the Room, we stress the importance of including visual details so that audiences will ‘play the movie’ in their heads when listening to a speaker. Throughout his address, Obama included phrases like “blinding deserts” and “snowy mountains” to trigger our imagination and picture these images.

Clearly, President Obama is no stranger to rhetoric. Rather than delivering his message in a folksy or conversational tone, his speech reflects a familiarity with age-old speaking skills to motivate and inspire an audience. For example, the use of Tricolon (or triplicate) favored by the ancient Greeks and Roman orators is in evidence multiple times throughout his speech. As Americans, we are comforted with lists or phrases that are bunched in threes. It is pervasive throughout our culture—from nursery rhymes to church sermons. Obama used triplicate when he started three linked phrases with “every evening…”, “every dawn…” and “every moment…” He used the technique again with “in an age”… “in an era…” and “in a time…” And his final Tricolon (referring to the Marines) began with “They have served…”, “They have stood watch…” and “They have extended the opportunity of Government….” Repeating a phrase or trigger word three times has the incantatory, reverential quality that moves us. The device elevates language.
But including triplicates, visual details and a balance of emotion and intellect isn’t enough. In moments of great import, true leaders make us feel connected to a greater human community and ready to rally together. As our Chief Executive Officer, Obama crystallized the range of emotions we are feeling and made us proud to be Americans.

In a time when great stature is required, leaders need the skills of a statesman– not the paltry toolkit of a politician. Hackneyed phrases don’t move us. Polished delivery doesn’t inspire us. And defaulting to what’s safe and expected falls on deaf ears. President Obama needed to deliver balm to a grieving nation. He walked a verbal tightrope and the result was memorable.